Crunchy ‘Nanas

It’s been a good week. I’ve run twice, both times at the beach, which was a nice change from the village. The seaweed isn’t too smelly at the moment, but the wind was whipping up the sand this morning. There were 3 children rockpooling at 9am this morning, which was nice to see. The beach was pretty chill, waking up for a nice warm day ahead, I hope – it’s half term and the kids have actually got some nice weather for it.

I feel better this week, than I did last week. I am trying to drink more water, and I have got my hayfever sorted a bit better than last week with some different medicine. The sun has been shining, and the noodle has napped in his cot for 2 hours in the mornings, so I have a near-clean house (we’re talking sparkling clean windows, folks!) and lots of clean laundry. I have started taking 15 minutes a day when I can to do my relaxation visualizations again.

It has been a good week.

Tuesday: Run – 25.41
Friday: Run – 25.42

A week in and I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to revise my goals. That sucks, nobody wants to be that person, but better to catch it early, I suppose.

This week, I ran twice and walked through the fields with the Noodle on my back once.  Nothing has been too strenuous, and I am happy to say I ran the same distance progressively faster from last Friday to today. But, I have felt like crap all week. The exercise has not energized me – just the opposite, I am falling asleep on the couch at 8pm, and having a really hard time getting up in the morning, even if I’ve had 8 hours sleep in bed.  The drowsiness is a little scary when I am the only one home with Noodle, and I am struggling to keep my eyes open.

It’s not just the tiredness. I just feel really crap. Like sugar shaky all day long, even if I am eating. My resting heartbeat is way too high, I know.  I keep thinking I am getting sick, but never actually get sick. Thinking about it all in the shower this morning, I realized I have set my priorities out wrong. Running a race is not important to me right now, not really. Being fit to enjoy my son and being fit to carry and deliver another child soon, that’s what is really on my mind.

So my revised priorities are to gradually increase my baseline fitness without distance goals in mind at first (okay, let’s be honest I haven’t dug the gadgets back out again and I can’t get my chip to talk to my new iPod touch, so going by time is the easiest way forward), and to lower my resting heartbeat. And to feel good about it.  Which is really what I had on my mind all along, I just tend to grasp at what I know – I want to run and be fit  again, okay better find a race to train for – than to think about it on any other terms.

We all know this will last me all of a week before I want to find a race to go along with it, so stay tuned, but I am going to do me some research on other paths forward.

Sunday: Walk through fields carrying the Noodle for 1 hr
Tuesday: Approx. 2 miles in 20.25
Friday: Approx. 2 miles in 19.56

Giddy-up Mommy, you're slow

I ran today. About 2 miles in 20.48. Okay not outstanding, but for a beginner (because that’s where I have mentally placed myself), I’m pleased. Especially considering I live at the top of the run down the hill into the village. And the run doesn’t end until I am home again. (“It’s a long way to the top, love,” said the man in his driveway as I started up the last push. You’re telling me.) I am pleased.

I am also really, really tight in the lower back. And hello hips!  I can’t even remember my stretching routine, but I did my best. I am so ready to get back on top of this!

And now I am blogging. See what putting things onto Google calendar does to me? It’s amazing. It’s on there, so I do it. I’ve put blog on the 9am spot for every Friday from here until there. I figure once I week, I should have something to say. But really, I’m writing for me at the moment, to try to get back into the habit, and possibly for my mom and anyone else who would like to stop by, but I am not expecting much!

What I really need is a race to train for. That will really help motivate me to run and blog. I still intend to aim for a sub 2:00 half marathon. It’s a goal I had before I got pregnant. It felt pretty attainable then (my personal best is 2:00.27), so I am trying to convince myself it could still be achievable now. The problem is, we are in limbo. In limbo in nearly every important aspect of our life, thanks to not knowing what will happen to Crunchy husband’s job and when. What I need to do is find a nice, inexpensive race (probably a 10k to build me up) to train for so that if the time comes to move somewhere else in England or to California or to Sweden, I will have not invested too much money into registration. So that is my next task. I will report back next Friday.

Stop. Sweden? The conversation went something like this:

Crunchy husband, through a mouthful of chicken and artichoke pie: “We could move to Gothenburg.”
Me: “Where’s that?”
Crunchy husband, still chewing: “Sweden.”
Me: “Swindon, I’m not moving to Swindon.” (In my split second judgment, I misheard my husband and confused Swindon with Slough. Sorry folks, I shouldn’t knock it unless I’ve tried it. I like living in Thanet, after all.)
Me: “Oh, oh, Sweden. Yeah, ok. Well, actually I don’t know. I don’t think I could handle the winters there.”
Crunchy husband: “Good paternity rights if we have baby number 2. But, hmmm, Swindon would be close to Womad…”

As you can see, we have no idea where we’ll end up yet.  But mom, I can guarantee you we will not base any decisions on a once a year weekend music festival. (Though, in a instance of role reversal in our house, Crunchy husband has been pushing for Womad this year. I am starting to research ear defenders for the noodle just in case it pans out.)

It’s been a while since I have been here, and an even longer while since I have been here in more than a drive-by fashion. A lot has happened since I blogged consistently. (And since I ran consistently. Or did anything consistently. I would like to think that might change, but we shall see where the wind blows. The priorities, they happily lie elsewhere!)

Since my blogging presence faltered, a lot has happened in my life. I gained 45+ pounds over nearly 42 weeks and then lost most of it in a very short time. And then waited a year until my bones decided to realign themselves enough that I could maybe get back into my favorite jeans.  (It’s close.  Close enough that the last time I tried, I decided I could put the jeans into my drawer.) I traded running for swimming, yoga and, well, a whole lot of walking.  First wearing the baby on the inside, and then after the noodle was born, wearing him on the outside. (So even though it feels like I haven’t excercised in years, Crunchy husband claims I have. My lungs would disagree, but there you go!) I traded work for motherhood for 9 months, went back to work part time for three months to finish up my contract, and am now back to motherhood full time.

My brain is now actively trying to settle into the role as a SAHM. Luckily for me, the noodle settled really well at nursery school, and we’ve decided to keep him in 3 mornings a week (for the time being – many more changes are on the horizon), so I have some room to play with. I have already committed Monday mornings to volunteering where I was working, which I think is going to be really good. It’s some semblance of professional continuity without the stress, overwork and sparse pay. But, Tuesday and Friday mornings are mine – just mine – and I am starting to get myself into a focused groove on that.  On Friday morning, before I clean the toilets and vacuum the house, I am going to run. Not far, and not fast, but it will happen.

I will report back. And maybe that will be the beginning of something!

Whoever invented yoga invented heaven. Literally, metaphorically, and everywhere in between, I suppose. For a second week in a row, I made the evening yoga class.  This week, I relaxed a little bit more. I didn’t think quite as much about baby boy as I had the week before, though I did have a moment of panic during relaxation where my mind wandered the to the thought, ” did I park across someone’s driveway? Oh my god, I am sure I did. It seems like something I would do right now” since it was dark when I parked and I couldn’t remember double checking once I got out of the car. (I was parked just fine.)

I’ve missed yoga. I have a spotty history of practice because I don’t do it at home, or at least not more than some poses after a run. I like to have someone there to guide me. I don’t like to think about what comes next. I like to know someone’s going to tell me what to do, and when to do it, so I can just concentrate on doing it, and doing it right. I know that sounds lazy, but I get more out of it that way. And I shouldn’t say I never do yoga at home. When I am on a roll, I get into a groove enough to be able to do simple sequences at home. That, however, feels like a thing of the past now that I have a baby, and one that doesn’t nap during the day.

So, I’ve become a bit rusty. I did yoga up to about 39/40 weeks of pregnancy, but then nothing except a very lax postnatal and baby yoga class in the summer where I spent most of the time nursing. So it’s been 7 months. But, to be honest, I think my body is a bit relieved to be doing it again. It feels good. Except when I try to do certain backbends, as it’s a bit too uncomfortable as I am still nursing. I’ve also learned from my first inverted poses that, well, I’ve got some weak spots still from the pregancy and birth. It’s good. It gives me something to focus on, and makes me feel like I am getting back into my own skin again, and giving myself time to quiet my mind again.

Baby boy has just turned 30 weeks old. He will be seven months on Sunday. On Tuesday Crunchy husband very nicely arranged to get off work in time for me to go to an evening yoga class. It felt like such a treat. With no family here and no one really to leave baby boy with, it was the first time I’ve felt I’ve had back to myself to exercise since he was born. (I just realized this is a lie. We did a baby relay bike ride where I had a 30 minute loop before switching off with Crunchy husband.)

I love this kid, and I love every minute I spend with him, even when I am pulling my hair out (or he’s pulling my hair out), but I’ve been desperate to figure out a way to get some time out to exercise without him. I walk with him a lot, so at least I’m not completely stagnant, but I need more. We tried baby yoga together, but he is way too demanding of a baby to lay there while mommy does some poses. And even if he would lay still and happy, my mind would be on him and not on the yoga.

The problem is that I am tired when Crunchy husband gets home from work. This kid keeps me busy. A run is the last thing on my mind at that point. Plus, now it’s getting to be winter and dark by 4.30pm. I’ve always felt like weekends are family time together, to walk and get out together, but I think I might start to revise this a little, especially now that I am beginning to drop nursing feeds for the bottle during the day. (Which is even more reason why I need to exercise, I feel my hormones right now and they be not happy!)

We always thought we’d get a jogging stroller, but I am rethinking this. With limited cash at the moment since we have kept the airlines in business these last few months, I don’t want to spend a lot of money to find out he won’t ride happily in it (highly probable) or running with it changes my gait in a way that strains or injures me. And even if these things did not prove to be issues, a jogging stroller does not resolve the issue of me time. Though it would be great to be able to run, I kind of want to do it on my own.

We’ll see. No decision is ever final, as he grows and changes and we grow and change too.

Well, I am happy to say that, though it doesn’t sound like much, I am on my way to getting proper exercise. My energy is definitely picking up a bit (though you’d never know it by my falling asleep at 8pm on the couch!) and, along with a 3.5 mile hike around Blean woods last weekend, I walked 15 minutes at lunch on the 3 days this week that I was in the office and not on my feet in the rockpools.

Laugh all you want, but those 15 minutes plus the stairs to get me back up to the office, that was pretty much good.

Looking through some recent photos, I am reminded that I wasn’t a total slacker in my first trimester. We hiked a different circuit around Blean woods in August, and a bit down in the New Forest at the beginning of September. And embryo had nice in utero rock out sessions to two of my favorites, Peter Gabriel and U2, this summer, which just goes to show I can stay awake when it really matters.

I am sure I must be talking to myself here, but I’ve never let that stop me before. Though my thoughts have been silent here over the last couple months, my life has been the opposite. I have just been too busy and wiped out to even think about blogging, as well as not really being at liberty to say much about real life  and running (or lack thereof) or anything really.

Alas, no more. We are 15 weeks into the rest of our life. I am sick and tired and exhausted but I am so happy and relieved and excited to announce that my family should grow next March all continuing to go well.  But, wow, has this pregnancy thing got me floored. Cooking a baby’s hard work! I have never been so sick and exhausted in my life. Not complaining at all, it’s what I have been waiting for, but wow, where was that cave and why couldn’t I just crawl into it to hibernate?

However, this past week I have started to feel like I have had a little more energy and it’s time to get serious about remedying my slacking in the exercise department. For the last month, the extent of my physical activity has pretty much been limited to the four flights of stairs I have to walk up to get to my desk at work (hey at least I don’t walk to the other entrance and use the elevator!) and the sets of pelvic floor exercises I do when I remember.

And that’s why I need to blog. I know exercise is important, and I really need it to make me feel accountable until I am feeling energetic enough to WANT to exercise. I won’t be running for a while because I wasn’t running regularly enough before I conceived to feel I can ‘continue’.  But I will be walking and I will be trying out the town pool (let my gym membership expire in June and now I definitely don’t have the money to renew!) and now that I have worked my last Saturday for a while I will be able to get to my antenatal yoga.

So, if you are out there, and you don’t see a weekly blog on something physical I did, please shout ‘slacker!’ and kick my butt in gear. Me and my baby thank you for it.

…since you last ran when

1. You pull out the Nike+ sportband to find it has no charge
2. You swear your shoe pocket has always been on your right shoe, but there it is, on your left
3. You spend the entire run, and by entire I mean 20 minutes*, trying to remember the last time you ran.

*Aw well, it’s a (re)start, not a very good one as I wasn’t even breathing hard, but well, a start.

I started a new job 7 weeks ago. Since then, I have run twice, biked 4 times, and yoga-ed not once, except for stretches after the running and biking activities. I am not happy about this. Not only do I know rationally this is not a good way to live, but I feel it. My hips are even tighter than normal, the office stairs have me huffing more than I would like. My mental state could be worse, but I miss yoga so much, and know it would help me balance everything I need to do, and help me to tackle all my challenges in a much more relaxed state.

I cut myself a little slack because being sick and trying to keep up with the new job was flippin’ hard. I didn’t really realize how sick I was until I started feeling better. But my energy level was completely wiped. I wanted to do something, but I was running on empty and all resources were going into trying to do my best at work. Crunchy husband was an absolute star during this time because he wasn’t 100% either and he still cooked me dinners and cleaned the house when I had people coming over to record the newsletter.

So, yeah I’ve been struggling a bit with the balance. Even though I know I should get up and exercise before work, I think if I am up and awake it would be nice to just get in and try to get some stuff done while it is quiet and the day is young. Which I know is not healthy, and yet I feel it’s so important for me to do well. Partly because I know I can do well, and partly because I really believe in the organization and I don’t want to let it down. It’s been a bit of a challenge trying to keep the daily happenings going and plan for the future and get up to speed with it all – a challenge that I completely expected and welcomed, but yeah it has had me pretty zapped for energy outside of office hours.

However, this weekend I cleaned my room (how old am I?) and we went out for a stellar bike ride to Broadstairs and back. I am feeling good about this. It feels like it has positioned me well to tackle all I would like to get done this week before I step on the plane and head home to California, so that I am not sitting around for two weeks with the sick hole in my stomach thinking about all the things I wished I had gotten done, that should have been done. No good wasting a vacation day with worry and yet, I know myself so I want to get as much as possible done so I won’t. So, um yeah we’ll see if I manage another run or exercise before Saturday. I’m going to try my best.