Crunchy ‘Nanas

A week in and I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to revise my goals. That sucks, nobody wants to be that person, but better to catch it early, I suppose.

This week, I ran twice and walked through the fields with the Noodle on my back once.  Nothing has been too strenuous, and I am happy to say I ran the same distance progressively faster from last Friday to today. But, I have felt like crap all week. The exercise has not energized me – just the opposite, I am falling asleep on the couch at 8pm, and having a really hard time getting up in the morning, even if I’ve had 8 hours sleep in bed.  The drowsiness is a little scary when I am the only one home with Noodle, and I am struggling to keep my eyes open.

It’s not just the tiredness. I just feel really crap. Like sugar shaky all day long, even if I am eating. My resting heartbeat is way too high, I know.  I keep thinking I am getting sick, but never actually get sick. Thinking about it all in the shower this morning, I realized I have set my priorities out wrong. Running a race is not important to me right now, not really. Being fit to enjoy my son and being fit to carry and deliver another child soon, that’s what is really on my mind.

So my revised priorities are to gradually increase my baseline fitness without distance goals in mind at first (okay, let’s be honest I haven’t dug the gadgets back out again and I can’t get my chip to talk to my new iPod touch, so going by time is the easiest way forward), and to lower my resting heartbeat. And to feel good about it.  Which is really what I had on my mind all along, I just tend to grasp at what I know – I want to run and be fit  again, okay better find a race to train for – than to think about it on any other terms.

We all know this will last me all of a week before I want to find a race to go along with it, so stay tuned, but I am going to do me some research on other paths forward.

Sunday: Walk through fields carrying the Noodle for 1 hr
Tuesday: Approx. 2 miles in 20.25
Friday: Approx. 2 miles in 19.56

Giddy-up Mommy, you're slow

I ran today. About 2 miles in 20.48. Okay not outstanding, but for a beginner (because that’s where I have mentally placed myself), I’m pleased. Especially considering I live at the top of the run down the hill into the village. And the run doesn’t end until I am home again. (“It’s a long way to the top, love,” said the man in his driveway as I started up the last push. You’re telling me.) I am pleased.

I am also really, really tight in the lower back. And hello hips!  I can’t even remember my stretching routine, but I did my best. I am so ready to get back on top of this!

And now I am blogging. See what putting things onto Google calendar does to me? It’s amazing. It’s on there, so I do it. I’ve put blog on the 9am spot for every Friday from here until there. I figure once I week, I should have something to say. But really, I’m writing for me at the moment, to try to get back into the habit, and possibly for my mom and anyone else who would like to stop by, but I am not expecting much!

What I really need is a race to train for. That will really help motivate me to run and blog. I still intend to aim for a sub 2:00 half marathon. It’s a goal I had before I got pregnant. It felt pretty attainable then (my personal best is 2:00.27), so I am trying to convince myself it could still be achievable now. The problem is, we are in limbo. In limbo in nearly every important aspect of our life, thanks to not knowing what will happen to Crunchy husband’s job and when. What I need to do is find a nice, inexpensive race (probably a 10k to build me up) to train for so that if the time comes to move somewhere else in England or to California or to Sweden, I will have not invested too much money into registration. So that is my next task. I will report back next Friday.

Stop. Sweden? The conversation went something like this:

Crunchy husband, through a mouthful of chicken and artichoke pie: “We could move to Gothenburg.”
Me: “Where’s that?”
Crunchy husband, still chewing: “Sweden.”
Me: “Swindon, I’m not moving to Swindon.” (In my split second judgment, I misheard my husband and confused Swindon with Slough. Sorry folks, I shouldn’t knock it unless I’ve tried it. I like living in Thanet, after all.)
Me: “Oh, oh, Sweden. Yeah, ok. Well, actually I don’t know. I don’t think I could handle the winters there.”
Crunchy husband: “Good paternity rights if we have baby number 2. But, hmmm, Swindon would be close to Womad…”

As you can see, we have no idea where we’ll end up yet.  But mom, I can guarantee you we will not base any decisions on a once a year weekend music festival. (Though, in a instance of role reversal in our house, Crunchy husband has been pushing for Womad this year. I am starting to research ear defenders for the noodle just in case it pans out.)

It’s been a while since I have been here, and an even longer while since I have been here in more than a drive-by fashion. A lot has happened since I blogged consistently. (And since I ran consistently. Or did anything consistently. I would like to think that might change, but we shall see where the wind blows. The priorities, they happily lie elsewhere!)

Since my blogging presence faltered, a lot has happened in my life. I gained 45+ pounds over nearly 42 weeks and then lost most of it in a very short time. And then waited a year until my bones decided to realign themselves enough that I could maybe get back into my favorite jeans.  (It’s close.  Close enough that the last time I tried, I decided I could put the jeans into my drawer.) I traded running for swimming, yoga and, well, a whole lot of walking.  First wearing the baby on the inside, and then after the noodle was born, wearing him on the outside. (So even though it feels like I haven’t excercised in years, Crunchy husband claims I have. My lungs would disagree, but there you go!) I traded work for motherhood for 9 months, went back to work part time for three months to finish up my contract, and am now back to motherhood full time.

My brain is now actively trying to settle into the role as a SAHM. Luckily for me, the noodle settled really well at nursery school, and we’ve decided to keep him in 3 mornings a week (for the time being – many more changes are on the horizon), so I have some room to play with. I have already committed Monday mornings to volunteering where I was working, which I think is going to be really good. It’s some semblance of professional continuity without the stress, overwork and sparse pay. But, Tuesday and Friday mornings are mine – just mine – and I am starting to get myself into a focused groove on that.  On Friday morning, before I clean the toilets and vacuum the house, I am going to run. Not far, and not fast, but it will happen.

I will report back. And maybe that will be the beginning of something!