Running therapy
I woke up screaming last night. Which is a sign I need to lay off Waking the Dead, or I am a bit anxious. I am going with the latter. I think anyone who knows me would agree. (Plus, I am too hooked on the drama in Waking the Dead to cut it out. I want to see if the Peter Boyd character does in fact get in touch with his inner grief and heal his soul, as has been suggested would do him some good. Except, I hope he doesn’t because the character makes me laugh. I’d hate, hate, hate! him in real life. But, for tv, I love it. And I don’t say that very often.)
I didn’t run over the weekend. I think it might be good for me to get this out there since I’m fairly sure this contributed to last night’s anxiety. The explanations I have to offer are that I am allowing a blood blister to heal. And we got back from rocking out in Brighton too late yesterday for me to finish the 9 miles in daylight. Notice, I call those explanations, not excuses. I am not sure what the difference is between the two, but in this case, explanation sounds more positive. And right now I am really trying to take my life in that direction. I think that’s a good plan. To focus on relieving the anxiety through positive thoughts and actions.
My first goal, in the running department, is not to be nervous. I thought I was playing it very cool, that my inner storm was wholly disguised by a suave, happy-go-lucky exterior. Until Crunchy husband casually remarked, “yeah, I’ve noticed you get really nervous before the weekend runs”. What?! It shows? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. He knows me pretty well. And my mood’s not usually that hard to read. Okay, not ever that hard to read.
I’ve thought about this a bit and the conclusion that I come to is that I get nervous before I start a long run because I am scared that this run will be the one that hurts me. I’ve jumped in, made a commitment, to myself and others, that I believe in. I want to do my best to honor it, in body and spirit. Yet, I worry something beyond my control will take it away. I fear I will not be able to do what I’ve set out to do. It’s not even damage to my body that causes me angst as much as the implications that an injury could have on my training schedule and completing the half marathon. There might be something a bit unhealthy about that. I should probably try to work on this.
I do, however, feel good for my shorter run today.
Today’s run
Distance: 5.2 miles
Time: 48:19
Pace: 9:17 min/mile
Wednesday, 21st February 2007 at 9:01
Look what a couple of days ‘rest’ has done to your pace!….or did you have Indigo Girls on the iPod?